Why Do I Play D&D? (And Why Should You?)

If there has been one constant in my life throughout this quarantine period, it’s playing Dungeons and Dragons. Work has changed, social activities have changed, errands have changed, but every Tuesday and every Saturday, I’m still rolling dice.

Why do I love D&D so much, and why might you want to play it as well? There are the standard answers of course: it lets you live out your fantasies, you get to be a hero and a problem solver, you get to hang out with friends every week, it’s an exercise in creativity. These answers are all absolutely true for me, and if you want to hear an even more in-depth version of them, I highly recommend that you check out Matt Colville’s Why Do We Play D&D?

For me, though, there’s another side to D&D. I love it because, at it’s best, D&D is an act of empathy and love.

Hold on, you might be thinking. Are you going to tell me that in order to fully enjoy D&D I have to do all that roleplaying stuff and pretend to fall in love with another character? Absolutely not. I know players who have never spoken a single sentence “in character” and who only focus on the pure mechanics of the game. Those people still embody this idea.

So what do I mean then? In order to explain, let me give you a bit of background on what D&D actually is, in case you’ve only heard of it from the Satanic Panic of the 1980s or through watching Stranger Things. D&D is a tabletop rollplaying game. You create a character, and you use a combination of rules, dice rolls, and creativity to determine what that character does. One person in the group is the Dungeon Master (DM), and they run a story that your characters go through, as well as any monsters or random beings that your characters might encounter. Typically, you keep playing the same character from session to session, and as you and your friends progress through the story, your character gets stronger. Eventually, you get to do cool things like wield a battleaxe of righteousness or turn into a dragon.

This is a very simplified description of what the D&D experience is, but within it is the reason why I love D&D so much. D&D doesn’t require much; all you need is a way to keep track of information, a way to introduce random chance into the game, a story, and a friend to play with you. That last part is key though. As far as I know, no one has invented a robotic DM yet, or robotic players for that matter. You can play over the internet, over the phone, or even through typing text into a shared Google doc, but you need other people to play D&D. And that’s what makes it so special.

When I play D&D as a character, a lot of my thoughts are dedicated to “what’s the best spell I could cast to get rid of that goblin?” or “would accepting this mission help my character find the thing they’re looking for?” But there’s also another line of thought in my head as well: “Should I heal my friend, or should I take down that kobold so that the rogue has a clear shot at the other one?” When you play D&D, you focus not only on your own success, but also the success of your friends. It’s also incredibly fun to see your friend’s face light up as they get the final blow on the giant you’ve been fighting. In order to be successful in D&D, you have to think of others; you have to cooperate. And that can be really gratifying.

Beyond that, though, there’s another layer of empathy going on. When playing, I’m also thinking to myself, “How does my character feel about the paladin wanting to risk ourselves to save the village? Would this moment cause my character to open up about her past?” By creating a character, you put yourself in the shoes of another person, and you try to decide how they would react to a situation. That is the definition of empathy. Even if you’re playing a character who is exactly like you (with the addition of a sick magical sword) you get to see yourself from a new angle, maybe one you hadn’t considered before. My very first character was a fire-throwing, enemy-exploding sorcerer, and while it was fun to deal ridiculous amounts of damage, I realized partway through the campaign that what I really wanted to do was heal the other characters. Even though I thought my character was going to be reckless and chaotic, I always ended up being the one to slow things down and ask if this was the best course of action to take. I saw myself as I never had before, and I think I even developed a little more self-love because of it. At the same time, I saw my friends going through the same experience, and I developed a greater understanding of them as well.

Alright, that sounds pretty cool, you might be thinking. But my friends want me to be the DM. How does this apply to me?

For the two campaigns that I’m currently participating in, I’m a player in one and a DM for the other. This has given me a really interesting perspective on how the game functions as a whole. While the players are focused on developing their characters and interacting with the other players, the DM gets to construct a world and a story that lets the players explore these things to their fullest potential. Every week, I get to come up with new challenges for them that will hopefully make them think, laugh, collaborate, and maybe even learn something new. Being a DM is at once both an act of self-love and generosity because you get to create exactly the world you want while at the same time creating a memorable experience for others.

One of my friends who’s a longtime DM once asked me, “Do you think we spend too much time on D&D? I mean, I spend several hours each week preparing and playing, but then it’s done. I haven’t done anything productive.” I thought this was a really interesting question coming from him, because he’s pursued a career as an actor and a musician. Art like that is, by nature, ethereal. Each live performance is unique, no tangible product is created. Why do we produce art if it’s meant to disappear? Why do we bake a cake for a loved one if it’s going to be eaten by the end of the night? I think you know the answer.

I play D&D because it forms a bond like no other. Through it, I get to spread love to others and to myself. I can’t think of a better way to spend my evenings during this time of anxiety and uncertainty.

So if you’ve ever thought about playing D&D, I highly encourage you to give it a shot. Take a chance and roll the dice.